If you don’t know what this is about, you should first go and check it out.
So, C++ is, for me at least, an intolerable programming language. Everything from the code to the resultant program tends to be as ugly as it gets. More than half the time it feels like it was hacked-together to include everything. However, it has been around for a very long time and you can use it to do just about anything that you could want to do with a programming language. Only, the experience and the result may not exactly be great.
Then we have Java. The main problem with Java is that for a language that aims to be useful for all sorts of applications on all platforms, it’s missing a lot of features that are commonly used by full-stack developers. Very often, when writing programs in Java, programmers end up spending more time than they need to creating new types and methods so that they can use them in the program that they actually set out to write.
NoSQL refers to database systems that don’t use SQL and are non-relational. An example is MongoDB, which stores JSON objects grouped into collections. The joke is that the non-relational model doesn’t always expose enough information for you to be able to access your objects without using the abstract api.
COBOL? Well, I guess no one entirely gets it except for its creator.
Lisp has a lot of parentheses. Just google sample codes for lisp and you’d know.
C# is a fairly complete and tolerable language. The problem? Microsoft. Windows. The thing about the costume is that C# is basically Java in a costume (it closely resembles Java in terms of syntax and semantics.) The camel is basically the windows environment. Basically, it means that C# programs don’t always work as intended if not running on Windows.
Assembly doesn’t really offer a lot of language features. There’s a basic set of operations that have to be used for everything. But coding something in such a low level language means you get control over aspects that most languages abstract over. So you can make a really efficient program, hence, the thing about running.
Everyone hates PHP. They say it’s a terrible and unsafe language and has unpredictable behavior. I personally have reasons to really like PHP but I will still go ahead and tell you that most good posts on the subject target aspects of the language that really do suck so yeah some of the hate is justified.